Online Dating: Pros and Cons for those 50+

There are about 1,000 dating web sites. Probably, more than that. Online dating makes up 1% of all Internet usage. That means that one out of every 100 people logging on visits an online dating site.

Many of us who are 50+ find that being part of the online dating process -- getting out there and doing something for ourselves -- is positive and empowering whether or not the matches are successful.

In any event, like everything else in life, it has its pros and cons. Here are the ones most frequently mentioned:

Pros

1. There are a lot of people out there to choose from.
Remember high school? Remember college? Remember all those girls and guys there and the tremendous number of possibilities? Well, not since then will you find that many potential dates (and mates) in one place.

It’s also comforting to know that you are not alone—that there are many single people your age out there who are looking for the same things you are. Companionship and perhaps love.

A word of advice: Meet as many people as you can. A mistake many 50+ people make is thinking that meeting two or three people in a month, all of whom they don't like, is a good reason to stop. There is someone out there. Don’t give up.

The mainstream sites allow you to search for singles in specific age ranges and geographic locations, but there are also plenty of sites catering to singles who share an ethnic background, a hobby or a sports interest.

2. It won’t cost you an arm and a leg to participate.
Look at it this way –it’s cheaper than going on a senior cruise to (maybe) meet someone. Also, drinks at a singles bar aren’t cheap. Besides if you are past 50, it’s not as easy to “hang out” like you perhaps did in your younger days.

Although you can find free chat rooms and sites that run personal ads, you are probably better off paying a small fee to a legitimate online dating site to meet people who are more serious about meeting you. Most sites have a sign-up fee of about $25 to $50 as well as a monthly fee.

3. Personal Profiles can say a lot.
Most sites require you to write a personal profile. If written with thought, profiles are an excellent way to describe what a potential date is like. Include hobbies, movies, political beliefs, dreams, goals and favorite activities.

Spend time thinking about what you think someone else would like to read about you. Try to make it fun, funny, wry, whatever you think reflects your personality. Then bounce it off a few friends- ideally of the same gender that you hope to attract - to read through it critically and help you identify what's sounds cool and what sounds corny.

Profiles are most often what makes one decide if there is enough in common to make a connection.

Something to note: If you read a profile that someone has posted that is short and it seems apparent that the person writing it put no thought into it, you can expect that kind of communication in real life.

4. It’s easy to connect with someone without feeling awkward.
Say goodbye to the awkwardness that usually occurs on first dates. By exchanging email you get to know each other slowly and relaxed. If you decide to meet, you’ll already know a lot about each other, and that will help you both feel more comfortable.

Con

1. Free is not always good. Beware, there are some strange people out there.
Some sites allow people to post their profiles and respond to others for free. Unfortunately these free sites often attract some strange people. It’s important to check out the site carefully before you join.

For example, here’s one reader’s experience: “One guy resembled the Incredible Hulk while another said he preferred educated women who would spend their lives serving him. Then there was this fellow who ordered one steak to split while dining at a fancy restaurant. He then informed me that sex was expected at the end of the night because an erectile dysfunction drug had been ingested.”
---Name withheld

2. It may cost more than you think.
Many sites will allow you to view other people’s profiles before joining so you get an idea of who’s available. But some may charge to let you reply to a profile, and here’s where you need to be careful.

Check out the membership dues and rules before you join, especially if you provide a credit card number. Make sure you know exactly how much it will cost, when you’re signing up for an automatic renewal that will be charged to your credit card, and what you will need to do to quit the site when you’re ready.

3. Pictures sometimes aren’t honest.
Photos are often an important component of online profiles. Unfortunately, some people post photos that were taken many years ago, when they looked much younger. Often the photos are extremely flattering and not very true-to-life.

Here’s a good rule of thumb: If you remember that he or she probably won’t look as good as his or her photo, you won’t be disappointed.

4. People can lie, too.
No, really? I’m afraid so. In an effort to get more responses, or in some cases, to deliberately mislead, some people lie in their profiles. Don’t believe everything you read—if he or she sounds too good to be true, he or she probably is. <<

For other articles of interest to those over 50 (seniors and boomers) visit www.LetLifeIn.com. With a cutting edge and a (sometimes irreverent) sense of humor, LetLifeIn.com explores all aspects of being 50+ -- the concerns, the issues, and the controversies as well as the fun stuff.